Posted by: S. N. Harrell | November 12, 2011

Self-Hatred

Originally Written 11-11-11
 
I am kinky and curly
And those who professed my beauty
Are no longer here
 
I am wide and all outside
And those who said I was worthy
Cannot comfort me from your words of bigotry
 
I am an aged, wrinkled reflection
Of your mortality
And your choices have been to silence my plea
 
I am opposite of my gender role
So you insist upon decrying my soul
 
I am black to your white
And dark to your light
I am human cells in the trillions,
Attempting to love myself into the zillions
Placing myself on the pedestal
A royal throne
And yet I am atom splittingly alone.
 
I breathe too loudly
Speak too briskly
Live too boldly
My heart beats & I exist
I think, with my brain
I love with my heart
& I’m asked to depart.
 
I am so maligned
That time has no place for me
The epitome of invisible,
As you want me to be
 
I am the boy, the girl, the diseased, the weak
The unusual, the quirky, the uniquely unique
The unknown, invisible, poor, and meek
The ostracized one of which everyone refuses to speak
 I am the one for which you feel no pity
Diseased by choice, you say so you can flee
 
I am nothing.
You are everything.
I am nothing … You are everything
You hate me through & through
Shouldn’t I hate me too?
 
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Responses

  1. This is wonderfully expressed! I really like it.

    • @JessicaMarie19 Thank you for your compliment.


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